Screw your contrast

December 19, 2003

Your mommy kills animals

PETA's psychologically scarring comicAnimal-rights activists across the nation are planning to single out children who are unlucky enough to have mothers who wear fur by giving them fliers at performances of “The Nutcracker” ballet saying, “Your Mommy Kills Animals.

The fliers feature a woman stabbing a terrified rabbit in the belly with a bloody knife, reports the Boston Herald. Text on the pamphlets urges kids to “ask your mommy how many dead animals she killed to make her fur clothes.

Children can’t look up to a mom in a battered-raccoon hat or a crushed coyote collar,’ Ingrid Newkirk, president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, told the paper. “Maybe when they’re confronted by their own children’s hurt looks, fur-wearers’ cold hearts will melt.

According to the report, the fliers even urge children to protect their pets from mom: “The sooner she stops wearing fur, the sooner the animals will be safe. Until then, keep your doggie or kitty friends away from mommy ? she’s an animal killer.

If this isn’t a good reason to callously stomp random PETA members, I don’t know what is. If I had a child, and some fringe lunatic gave an emotionally scarring piece of propaganda to him, I believe I’d beat the aformentioned lunatic within an inch of their worthless lives.

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Your daddy kills animals